


Demyx's Diary

by AceSpade



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Character treatment?, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, It's not very sad tbh, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Like, Minor Demyx/Xemnas, Sad, Suicide Attempt, didn't actually happen, i don't know where i'm going with this, i guess, idk - Freeform, it's there, just kind of, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23397652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceSpade/pseuds/AceSpade
Summary: I have the inability to drown.Yes, I know it sounds dumb, but please bear with me.
Relationships: Demyx/Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 15





	Demyx's Diary

I have the inability to down.

Yes, I know, it sounds dumb, but please bear with me. A while back, when I first joined the Organization, I tried diving into a steep part of the ocean during a mission with Lexaeus. I used to swim before I became a Nobody, but I couldn't remember how. I thought it would just come back to me at first, but it didn't.

I stayed in the water for a good few minutes, trying to remember, and eventually I lost consciousness. But when I woke up, I was still in the water. I wasn't sure where Lexaeus was, or if I was dreaming, but when I put my hands to my face I realized.

There was an air bubble around my head.

It stopped water from getting near my face - it even dried my hands! I still don't understand why I can't, but it's probably linked to me being able to control water.

I couldn't swim back up to shore, but I didn't need to, since I floated right back up. It was probably due to some other uncanny ability with water, but yeah. Lexaeus wasn't there, so I waited.

When he came back, he asked me where I was. I told him I was in the ocean, and he just... stared. Then told me we had to go back to the castle. Ever since then, I've tried experimenting it again, but I can't think about other stuff easily.

Drowning is hard...

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I am not lazy.

I don't know why everyone keeps telling me I'm lazy or slacking off. I'm hardly ever given any missions, why can't I just do my own thing in those times?

Though, it's not like I like fighting. I don't - I hate fighting. Why I even joined the Organization is a question that'll never be answered. I try training at least once a week, but it's not fun. Training is boring when no one's with you. They don't join me because they think I'm not strong enough. I'll have them know, I've killed someone before! ....But that was an accident. Still they don't need to know that.

I think the only people that appreciate me are Xemnas, Luxord and Axel. Maybe Xigbar. No one else really likes me. Xemnas knows I can fight - He broke my sitar once and what happened while I zoned out was monstrous. When I came to, the whole place was wrecked - water in placed it shouldn't be.

Anyway, just because I don't like fighting doesn't mean I'm lazy! I'll still do the stuff, I'm not heartless (hahaha), but I'll just be real hesitant to do it.

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Everyone's mean to me.

Is it because water is usually weak? Is it because I'm a coward and I'll admit it? Why?

I hate this I hate this I hate this

Maybe, when I have to talk to them, I'll give this to Ienzo. He'll keep it safe. He's not around here anymore. He can keep it safe.

They aren't as mean as the ones from my Somebody years, but it still hurts.

Should it hurt...?

I'm crying, but I shouldn't be.

With how many tears there are, I could make a rope from the 13th floor down to the ground and it'll reach.

Maybe I should just give up.

....No, Xemnas still needs me, I can't give up. I have to keep going.

Maybe if I prove myself, I won't be benched.

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I tried drowning again today.

It didn't work, it never works. My body doesn't let me die of water.

But I'll just heal if I try any other way. Why can't I just die...?

Xemnas caught me trying to drown earlier.

He asked my of my troubles, and I told him I was fine. Just testing my durability.

I don't think he believed it, but he left me alone after. That's good, right...?

Maybe I should've told him, maybe it would've helped me.

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i hate being here

it sucks, i don't like anyone, why is everyone so mean to me

what did i do to deserve this

i promised xemnas i wouldnt do what i did to be a nobody but im starting to think its not worth it.

theyre going go find the journal i have to hide it but they know all of my hiding places

what do i do

\----

"This journal..." Ienzo started, his eyes saddening. He looked over at Aeleus.

"Was there a time when Demyx went missing? Just for a small period of time?"

Aeleus paused for a moment, thinking back on his encounters with Demyx.

"...Yes. One mission when he first joined. He said he was in the ocean."

Ienzo looked back at the page.

"Why? Is something the matter?" Dilan asked. Ienzo shook his head, though he wasn't saying 'no'.

"This journal belongs to Demyx, it consist of multiple times in the Organization he felt something. I wanted to confirm if what he is writing is true. Though it saddens me..." He sighed, closing the book. Leaving it on his desk, he turns to the other two.

"When this war is over, and Demyx is recompleted, I have to find him. Will you two stay here?"

Aeleus looked over at Dilan, who simply shrugged.

"The decision is yours." Dilan replied, looking back at Ienzo. "Should you leave, we are to stay here to protect the study. But if you are in trouble, we'll have no choice."

"Of course." Ienzo stated calmly, looking back to the computer. "You can go back to your duties now."

Returning to his work, Ienzo heard Dilan's and Aeleus's footsteps grow farther. When the door closed, he sighed.

"Demyx..." He breathed. "Why didn't you tell me...?"


End file.
